Pitifully Funny

Poor, poor W has had a hard few days. But, he says the funniest things at his most pitiful moments.
The first terrible thing was an accident involving that very sensitive part that comes with the Y chromosome. W has this thing about making sure he goes to the bathroom before me in the morning--I don't know why. That is a battle I choose not to have. So W goes to the potty and then I hear this terrible scream. Yes, what you are imagining happened--The toilet seat closed, well slammed, on his penis. All poor W could say is "Why that do that to me?, Why that do that to me?"
Next, W has always had a little bit of separation anxiety when we may be apart. I have taken many a shower with W standing there holding the shower curtain open to make sure I don't escape from the secret door in there, or something. I don't usually let him in the bathroom anymore; he big enough to be on his own. This morning he thought otherwise and screamed outside the door "Mama, let me in there please; Pleeeease, Mama, Let me in". Okay so finally I open the door and he falls to floor saying "you really hurt my feeling mommy"--5 times. This is my future Oscar winner.
Lastly, as some of you know W has been sick these last few days. Tonight we went to urgent care to confirm that he had strep and get the antibiotic. The Dr. wanted to test for mono in addition to strep. The mono test requires a little finger prick and some blood. So, after the finger prick, W keeps saying repeatedly "why he put a hole in my finger? he going to put my hole back?" I assured him it will heal. Then it was "why he take my blood? he going to put it back?" This was a thirty minute conversation. He was genuinely concerned that he wasn't going to have enough blood anymore and that he would permanently have a hole in his finger.